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| Man the Provider. |
A man has two options in a relationship: Either STAND UP and be the man she needs (a PROVIDER and PROTECTOR)... or... SIT DOWN so she can see the one behind you!
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a) The Provider
I take my role as a provider in my family to heart. Note, that I said
a provider not the provider. In today’s economic and
social climate it appears to be the norm that in a marriage and in a
family both parents are providers. I applaud all those men and women who
are being and doing all they can to provide for their families no
matter where in the world and no matter the circumstances. Well done!
The role of a provider is a big responsibility and is not particularly
easy. It is, however, very rewarding.
I suppose I should underline here that in this context provider
relates to the provision of money and material needs and what that
allows us to purchase and invest in for the sake of our day-to-day
living and our aspired lifestyle. I realise that being a provider
can cover many other things which I plan to address in the next few
posts on men’s roles in today’s world. In all our roles, as men, we are
meant to be role-models and lead by example. Actually, that’s true for
anyone.
Now…I know in our household, the role of provider is shared. Good
thing. That was not always the case.
There was a time when I thought I had to be the provider. A
male thing I think. My worth was wrapped up in my ability to
provide for my wife and, one day, for my family. If
I could not provide then my belief was that it meant I was a failure as
a man, husband and father. My ego and my pride had a lot to answer for.
The man being the chief
bread-winner
of the family, the provider. It’s instinctive for him to provide
for and
protect his woman and his children. It’s built into the male
psyche, and
God built that male psyche.
Women have always worked, by the way—I’m not
going
totally chauvinistic on you, advocating that women be barefoot,
pregnant
and chained to the stove! In times past, the lady worked
alongside of
her man, helping get the harvest in before the rains, or as part
of the
family trade or business. But the man was the full-time field
laborer—working, as the Bible says, by the sweat of his brow,
fighting
to grow crops out of a stubborn land. The woman helps as needed,
but her
main task is nurturing the children—and believe me, she’s fully
employed
in that task.
Certainly, raising the next generation is more important
than any
factory or office job the woman might otherwise devote her life
to. The
devil and frustrated feminists have sold the modern American
woman a
bill of goods!
As for the well-adjusted man, working women
don’t
threaten him, they confuse him. He’s supposed to be the
bread-winner,
not his wife. He’s supposed to be the provider. A wife that is
not
content to be his counter-part and help-meet, a suitable,
comparable
match to his manhood has a tendency to mess with his inner
biological
settings. He’s programmed by God and nature to be the
provider—why does
she feel the need to compete with him?
Only in finding out what God meant you to be,
and
following it, will you ever be happy, content, at peace with
yourself.
Only if men are allowed to be men, can women know what women are
supposed to be, and can children grow up in a stable and safe
environment into the men and women that God intended them to be.
It’s no
secret that more traditional, family-orientated societies are
better at
rearing children, and are happier and more adjusted, in spite of
poverty, dictatorial governments, and other negative factors
that may be
present.
b) The Protector
Modern science has an explanation—testosterone.
It makes men larger, helps them develop muscles more easily, and
also
contributes to them losing their temper with more frequency. A
routine
example of bad manners on the highway easily illustrates one of
the
chief differences between men and women in this respect.
Well, I’m sorry to announce that the ladies
are
right—Jesus said so. He told men to turn the other cheek, to
give
someone your coat if he takes your shirt—don’t let the ungodly
lure you
to their level of existence, but transcend your fleshly
impulses.
Control this dynamite known as testosterone. Testosterone does have it’s place,
however—it’s part
of the make-up God gave us, and it’s the reason the race
survives.
Dreamy-eyed pacifists say we should solve our
problems
diplomatically. How do you reason with a wolf or a tiger? How do
you
reason with a blizzard that threatens to bury your family in an
icy
grave? How do you reason with the Philistines when they raid
your city,
rape your women, and steal your children?
Folks, you can’t take the warrior out of a
man, or a
boy, for that matter. We have well-meaning Christian friends who
feel
that violence is not a Christian value, and who forbid their son
to play
with guns and other imaginary weapons. I’ll tell you right now,
if you
don’t buy him a plastic gun, he’ll pick up a stick and pretend
anyway—it’s part of being a man. A warrior doesn't
simply like
to fight—his job is to protect good people from bad people.
Today, we have professional policemen and
soldiers to
protect us, so men end up waving fists on the highway, picking
fights in
bars, or bickering over the pre-eminence in the local church.
Others
invent crises among friends and family—there’s a truth in the
old saying
that so-and-so isn’t happy unless he’s fighting with someone.
It’s
testosterone gone bad, out of control. It’s anything but manly,
but if
you’ve been castrating the man in all the other areas of his
life, it’s
one of the few outlets he has left. Because if he’s not allowed
to be
the provider and protector of his family, he’s a very unhappy
camper—not
a true man at all.
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