That does not make him any less of a real man. A real man knows this and accepts this. A real man isn’t afraid of his feelings.
Men are allowed to have feelings. Men are emotionally driven beings too. They want to know that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right. The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked. But you can create a atmosphere of appreciation and thoughtfulness — and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it.
Though we speak often of women and children as being abused, the hidden group are men. Many times men will never talk about what happened to them as a child.
Men do suffer, usually in silence, from abuse as women do. Men because of society are afraid to stand up and out. Fear of being called names and labeled sissies or a coward.
Men, this applies to all men, whether straight, gay, bi or any other…. you might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or puts you down,
- Prevents you from going to work or school,
- Stops you from seeing family members or friends,
- Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear,
- Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful,
- Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs,
- Threatens you with violence or a weapon, Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets,
- Assaults you while you're sleeping, you've been drinking or you're not paying attention to make up for a difference in strength,
- Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will,
- Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it,
- Portrays the violence as mutual and consensual.
Men not only have to fight themselves they have to fight what society views as a weak man. A man that can’t stand up to a woman or for themselves. I see them as a man that has love, too much love for a person that they have forgotten how to love themselves.
Abuse is not always physical, abuse can be emotional. Even the denial of affection can be considered abusive. The denial of saying I love you to your children or significant other. Denying your true feelings will only come back to hurt you if you aren’t already hurting inside.
A- ALIENATING
B- BELITTLING
U- UNDERMINING
S- SLAVERY
E- EMBARRASSMENT
I have the other side of ABUSE myself growing up.
I watched my own father endure emotional abuse. I would see him cry. Yes a grown man cry. A man that loved not only his wife, but his children enough to stay and allow himself to be treated cruelly for most of his adult life. A man that couldn’t stand up for himself. Someone that everyone that knew him loved and cared for him and had nothing but good things to say about him. But, a man that many pitied and said they never understood why he took it.
Men, if this is you. You also deserve better. Your kids deserve better. Just as people stand up for women I am standing up for you.
Men stand up for you and those you love. Love yourself enough to put space between you and those that hurt you. You don't have to divorce your partner but maybe a wake up call of separation is what they need will get them to seek help. Don't enable bad behavior. It shows kids it is OK to treat people badly. They learn by what they see not hear.
Ladies...Do not destroy a good loving man. Get help. Be strong enough to admit you need it. That shows strength.
Domestic violence against men can have devastating effects. Although you may not be able to stop your partner's or your parents past abusive behavior, you can seek help. Remember, no one deserves to be abused. Seeking help for yourself is a sign of strength. It says you love yourself enough to find a way to stop it.
Remember, if you're being abused, you aren't to blame but you are teaching your children what is to considered normal behavior and acceptance in one. But you are to blame if you stay. If you allow it to continue.
Fathers….Being a man is not about what you say to your children, especially the boys. It is what he sees you doing is what he learns, just as you did.
There are the fathers who instead of allowing a son to show emotion he demeans him and tells him to man-up and stop being a sissy. Being a man, means you can show emotion and be proud of it. It means you can hurt, heck you are human.
They can also learn the opposite. If they see you accepting abuse they view women as hurtful and man as weak. Those strive to be different and there is usually no medium. They go all the way out to “Prove” they are a man. Many times they become abusive.
Our boys need to learn that it is ok to feel. To hurt, have fears, be confused and so many more emotions. Yes please teach them they don’t have to act on each one, but never tell them they aren’t allowed to feel.
Many mothers call boys names if they cry. They demean them in front of friends and family. They teach them to be ashamed of their feelings.
Then they grow up into men that are not affectionate, caring or loving. Or if they are they don’t show it.
That is usually a woman’s complaint about men, but many times that same woman has no problem raising her own son that way.
Men complain women are to needy or insecure. But they have no problem with holding affection. They have been taught to be a man you have to be stiff and unfeeling. They become afraid to show feelings.
So don’t let what your parents did to you cause you to remain unfeeling, uncaring, afraid and un-affectionate. You deserve happiness and the right to show it.
Abuse can be carried on without a person realizing it.
Remember you don’t need a bruise to be abused.
Let the cycle end with you!!!!
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